A businesswoman, Mrs. Tomi Harrison (not real name), said she contemplated suicide when her husband informed her of his plans to marry a second wife. this guy is focusing on materialistic things to show love, he is so confused. Also, there are more women than men. 4. Get to know the conditions required for it to be healthy and practiced properly. God only made Adam and Eve, not Eve and Elizabeth. You r married to him and having two children, just try to not as to much attention and care about ur children as long as hes good with you, respects you, caring about family financially then do it for your children,unless untill they are enough grown-up. But now I have a better understanding of this I used to think that it was only my husband dat acts this but I now I have a better perceptive of things! ISLAM QURIAN is d manual 2 better and peaceful live . This reward is in addition to the womans reward for obeying BarakAllahu feekum. remember allah never brings more to a person they can cope with or carry. Uh thats not very fair? do that which causes harmony to grow in the family and ward off disputes and For men who want to carry out a second marriage, then this is permissible in Islam. Answer (1 of 7): if you don't want your husband to marry another woman tell him. In Islam, marriage is a civil contract. Nice comments you wrote there though, and I enjoy reading em. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. But if a Muslim prays istikhaarah with regard to He told me that his first wife knows that he is intending to marry again but that she is obviously not supportive of the idea and that he doesnt know what her reaction will be when he tells her that he had found someone. I did not find anything to be forced. Oh Dear how I understand you, my ex boyfriend, we were together for 5 years and hes Muslim. to Allaah for this great blessing and strive to preserve it and the family I have no idea how all this happened but it happened and believe me it wasnt easy for me. To those of you brothers who work at trying to be kind, considerate and loving to your wives, may Allah give you an enormous reward. My guess is that they moved on to another town. She said she never saw it coming because. If the conditions for a second marriage are right according to the Shari`ah, he can legally go ahead and marry. It just means that all (straight) men do, at some point in their lives, consider having another woman (i.e. The quran says that a man must treat his wives equally, you can easily argue that if the original wife doesnt want her husband to marry again then that is him being unfair to his first wife as compared to the potential second wife. When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. Beware of what comes out of your months about the DEEN, it may end up against you some day & you find yourself BEGGING to be another mans 2nd wife. Honestly, if he is not willing to change his ways then leave him, you do not need to live in misery. when we started talking, I made it very clear to him my thoughts of getting involved with a married man. Let me explain this. Please find all facts on islamweb.net I always go by them but Quran is key we have to read and understand.. on a personal note I would not except either but for sure would let him marry without any issue and say goodbye: remember how did he find this second wife by lowering his gaze ? You cant know this because no one knows whats in the mind of every man. Men are the guardians of women. I could not imagine myself in a plural marriage. I would like to adress the author regarding 4th point. neglect of their children. But for the couple who are in agreement with one another and understand one another and know that perhaps you have had a long day, your stressed about work, your worried about your childrens exams etcc..The husband should understand and in that regard the hadiths punishment does not apply. He was kind and gentle with them. Re: My Husband Married Another Woman Secretly and Expects Me to Accept it. the guy has duty to keeping his wife well comforted before he even thinks selfishly about his own satisfaction. Firstly, I would like to thank the author of this post for his sharing the knowledge. He wasn't by my side, not even one bit. If I would get to know about a special reward, things would be easier to accept. People want things their way with other people so will only use that part of Islam that suits them. Is he generous or selfish, only thinking of his pleasure. This is a clause usually ignored or taken lightly by many men, depriving women the rights Allah Almighty has granted. Dear sheikh, As-Salaam `Alaykmu wa Rahamtu Allah wa Barakatuh. I do not deserve this treatment. The difference is of course in the idea that what we do is more for the sake of Allah Taaalaa than for ourselves. My husband married another girl without informing me. In particular the Hadith. It says in the Reliance of the Traveller, "The husband of a woman who bears a child (0: no matter whether his marriage to her is valid or invalid) is considered to be the child's father whenever it is (N: legally) possible that the child could be his, meaning that: (a) the woman gave birth to the child six months plus a moment after the . At this point, the man has destroyed his relationship with . During paediatric age however, in childhood itself a female child has more immunity than a male child. Just because majority of muslim men do doesnt mean all do. For shame! Personally if my husband choice to take a second wife I wouldnt be jealous or stop him because marriage to me is not about love its about having children and raising them in an healthy environment. Tell him how much nicer hed look if he grew his beard. A week after he came back, he told me that he had got married in Egypt. If you want more advice on marriage watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf6B4xk3kcI by Yasir Qadhi. yeah sure , hell like that. I am shocked by this backward/baseless thinking. Going for Second Marriage: Do I Need Wifes Permission? Actually, the purpose of Islam allows polygamy is to abstain from adultery. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. May Allah bless you both. If a man is ignorant, unaware or does not care about his wifes emotional and physical needs, then he has set the clock for her to NOT want to be with him. Now I realize how good I got it because Alhamdulillah my wife is not like most of you regurgitating your jahiliyya to an extent to commit major kufr. Both of you need to brush up on Islamic knowledge and discussions pertaining to polygamy. alhamdulillah we were blessed with a lill princess.hubby has changed since I gave birth to our bby.he would touched me whenever he want.he loves kids so do I.i thought maybe its because he was tired thats why he refused to sleep with me in 3 to 4 days..after that he would come n touched me again.now I had to undergo an abortion. This is a great article about men and how to keep your husband happy but why is there never any mention of how to keep a woman happy and what a man can do for a woman? Just my observation. She will ONLY be cursed if her husband is angry. Just make sure you know yours before getting involved with someone and be honest and to show your intentions. If they do what you hate, beat them with a hard blow and hurt. Be careful sisters. Man is not allowed to divorce a woman just because she cannot give birth to his son/daughter. He says that he doesnt want them cause they dont have respect for themselves. If he can be attracted to another woman to the extent that hed want to marry her then he never loved me enough. So for example if he chooses to take a second wife he must ensure that the rights of both wives are fulfilled. And of course if a woman is not able, then its only logical she doesnt have to have intercourse, just think common sense, not everything has to be explained in detail for you. Our minds collect things and remember much better than we think. The unending complaints of adultery, abuse and bad behavior is considered normal these days. Shall I divorce him. That should really be the last stage. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. i have done all types of treatment but no result. He is a beautiful soul! Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. The problem is men hide their second marriage from their first wife which itself is a evidence of unjust behaviour which means he shouldnt go for second marriage as he is unable to do justice. then you have the right to separate from him and rightfully demand a divorce from the shariah court (if his actions are violent and selfish and hurtful to you then our dua are truly with you. (i`m not pregnant) wife). and the worst (halal) thing in marriage is divorce..correct me if im wrong anyone! Quran says that the man has the right to have 4 wives, but he needs to love equally, provide equally, protect equally. You can decide to divorce him. and another thing the most important thing: my husband Mustapha never hides anything from me of corse not and I never hide anything from him! She was loyal and pleased him sexually, why did he venture off? Dont do it, if a man is already thinking of another woman even before marrying you, he obviously cant be all that in love with you, sorry :(. So.If the women is the bread winners, is the shoe on the other foot? Of course he'll desire sex but that doesn't mean he should disrespect you. I know of at least five or more he been with them. This is the first time in the 20 years that I have known him where I have been at a loss for words. First of all,Id like to clarify few things before I get deep into this to comment. I had to be treated by my doctor for depression. Salaam is it haram or halal to give ur husband ahead? 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